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Make-up Artist. Styist. Plus-Size Model.

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HANDWERKER UND BINGO

Veröffentlicht von inaholub

Was Handwerker und Bingo vereint, warum sie in der Wohnung zu haben immer auch Gefahr bedeutet und über die eine Situation in der Aussehen und sogar Gewicht von Frauen nie eine Rolle spielt. English version below.

10/08/2016

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INA HOLUB. Stylist. Make-up Artist. Plus Size Model.

Mein Blog dreht sich um mein Leben als Makeup/Hair Stylistin, Plus Size Model, Shopbesitzerin und Vintage-liebhaberin in Wien. Ich berichte über Jobs aller Art, Menschen die mir dabei begegnen, und meinen Alltag als kurvige Frau in Vintageklamotten.

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#metoo ◼️my mother had an exboyfriend for 10 years who also worked as a photographer so she offered to make professional photos of me for my shop. while shooting he suddenly looked directly in my eyes and said with some kind of sexualized grin „ah it‘s sexy“. this word, the way he looked at me, this stupid grin. my heart rushed and that I was not able to move, as well as I felt embarrassed in front of my mother who was sitting directly next to us. I was not able to say anything. I just said that I would have belly ache. I went home and cried.◼️ my mother said nothing, pretending she didn‘t hear it. I tried to relax myself although I knew this wasn‘t right.◼️ same guy different situation: I was at my mothers, and fell asleep. I didn‘t realize that he must have come home to her. I woke up being in a room alone with him staring at me, watching how I sleep and this grin again.◼️I looked at him disgusted all over and I talked to my mother later on the same day when we were alone. I also told her from the shooting and the feeling he sexualizes me and that I feel highly uncomfortable and don‘t want to come home to her when there is the possibility of him being there. that I have the feeling of he would also act if we would be alone. first my mother listened, then she said: „don‘t worry I know that he would never do anything. it was just a compliment. he also likes curvy women. and he was just looking after you.“ I tried again and again but I guess even today, she is super convinced that her man wouldn‘t do anything- which also means my feeling isn‘t valid. ◼️ this is one experience that shows perfectly what #metoo is about. and I could tell you much more, and worse, and every woman I know too. it‘s about creating a platform for women, where they are heard, and where other women care and most important of all: believe. arguments like my mother’s, that she knows he wouldn‘t do anything, also imply that certain women just fail to pick the right man. but here’s news for you: it‘s #allmen◼️ #holubstagram #effyourbeautystandards #toxicpartriarchy #homo #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #queer #confident #fat #celebratemysize #fatacceptance #strong

time for thunder thighs. 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #beachbabe #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #queer#fatwoman #cellulite #fat #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #strong #bodylove #fatpositive #bodypolitics #confidence #bodylove #cellulitis #thunderthighs #confident #plussize #fat #empowerment #woman #curvy #fatacceptance

I was asked to be part of a renault commercial! I am so happy to had my queer femininities squad with me! my wife M., @dada_jv , @kottlett who all did great. it was such an empowering, sensual, political, super homo attitude day! danced to voguing, talking about fatpositivity and being in my shop. of course it is stil a commercial, but I think it‘s as political as it can possibly be. 🌈 considering there was an all white cis hetero men post-production team, you can imagine how fierce it was actually shooting it! thanks so so much to my squad, for supporting me, I really loved being with you all! queering the game, bitch! 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #squad #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #queer#fatwoman #queerfemininities #fat #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #strong #bodylove #fatpositive #bodypolitics #confidence #bodylove #belly #voguing #confident #dancer #fat #empowerment #woman #curvy #fatacceptance

in cinema in paris, going to watch vita&virginia with my wife. we have been all alone in the cinema hall and I felt strong and sensual and this is what came up. 🌈 I used to take pictures in certain angles to look more "flattering", which I now realize was another word for thinner. although I was already into body positivity, it was more an interest in politized plussize talk. I had not yet understood that I still was full of fatphobe and patriarchal socialization. it would need more than just to act more confident or have an interest in plus size themes. but this also requires to really face all the discrimination against me because of being fat and homo, which was and is a tough trigger topic. 🌈 at the same time this helps to understand structural discrimination. not only when it comes to me, but also to be more interested in my privileges and how my acting or talking has discriminated other marginalized groups. of course I am also socialized as a white cis abled bodied woman with an austrian passport. meaning I am racist, lookistic, have internalized homo and fat phobia, ... you name it. 🌈 I try to be more aware, to educate myself. some time ago I started to renew the list of people I follow on instagram from time to time. for everything you are possibly interested in, there is a black, poc, trans, homo, fat, disabled, non binary, female, .. person who will be (re)presenting it. this one step is super easy. it's about changing your patriarchal and westernized viewing habits. to see more often what's not your life reality, helps to understand and decrease with exotizising. if you’re not sure how to find awesome new accounts to follow - pm me! 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #intersectional #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #queer#fatwoman #red #fat #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #strong #bodylove #fatpositive #bodypolitics #confidence #bodylove #belly #frensh #confident #plussize #fat #empowerment #woman #curvy #fatacceptance

TRIGGER WARNING this post is about physical and psychological pain as well as a picture that shows a lot of blood and limbs 🍷🍷🍷🍷 I am a #hystersister. last november I got my uterus removed, as I wished for. this picture is me kind of waking up. I suffered from #endometriosis for over 13 years. more about that in my first post, just scroll down a bit.🍷I wanted to write more about this journey but I guess it was too painful. there were years of hardly any person believing me in my tremendous pain. there is the fear to have decided wrong, and again most people didn't understand my decision. not hearing me when I said I don't want kids, or my uterus is a sick organ anyway. even my mother was devastated about the idea I wouldn't have an uterus. there is also coming home with my jeans completely in blood, though I had a menstruation cup and a pantyliner. crying and sitting in the bathroom asking myself is this the normal amount of blood and limbs?🍷I write about this because first I want to open up, give information, and to empower. because I know how hard it is to freely decide when everyone knows better about your body, when even doctors say stuff like "this is normal, you have to be more brave", or it's said that you are less woman without an uterus.🍷what you see on the second picture is what happened 1-3 times a hard day. I post this because I did research too as I was worrying. if you experience something like this, extreme pain, more than 5 days of heavy bleeding, iron deficiency, please ask your gyn if they can examine you for endometriosis. this is nothing you have to suffer from. there is a way out (it doesn't have to be my way) 🍷I can truly tell that my life changed so much for the better. it was an exhausting surgery but I would do it again immediately and to be honest I wished I had done it earlier. you are not alone. speak up 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #endometriose #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #queer#fatwoman #hysterektomie #uterus#celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #hysterectomy #bodylove #fatpositive #bodypolitics #confidence #bodylove #belly #period #confident #blood #fat #menstruation

eating can be something very shameful, sad and traumatising when you are told your whole life that you eat too much, you‘re too fat, that there are good foods and bad ones you shouldn‘t take. when eating is considered as something you have to do but not take too much fun in it. when people stare at you while eating, or discriminate against you. 🌈 to speak about what I eat is still not easy for me, not even in front of my wife. but I also learned that I am worthy and I am enough, the way I am. that I can bite into this burger and not feel shame. I often read that pics of fat people eating are glorifying obesity. this is dumb. these pics are just life reality! but it shows confidence and awareness. it is disobedience aimed at a system that wants to oppress, and make money out of feeling ugly. there is nothing more dangerous than women who actually feel themselves, and therefore can focus on solidarity with other women, building coalitions with each other, starting a career, or any kind of success they want. 🌈 who‘s in? 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #plussizefashion #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #ootd #queer#fatwoman #eat #honormycurves #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #fatbitch#bodylove #fatpositive #psfashion #confidence #bodylove #belly #burger #pink #confident #lovefood #fat #sunday

feeling like a homosexual fat goddess while lying naked with my wife, spending our sunday in bed. sometimes I wish my younger self could see this. how I feel loved and seen and sensual with my belly hangig out and cellulite on my thunder thighs 🌈 in my first relationship, my girlfriend never touched my belly. like never. not even while having sex. I was very insecure about my body and I can‘t say if she never touched it because she felt my insecurities, or if she didn‘t like my fat belly. of course I was convinced she was just accepting how I look, not liking. I also thought nearly the entire relationship (of years) that she is more beautiful and because of that more worthy than me and that she would break up if she finally sees the truth: that I am fat, having bad skin, insecurities and traumas from childhood. 🌈 I write about this because I think there are unfortunately many women who can relate. but I also write to say there is a way out, there is a chance for a better life, for feeling worthy. for me the change came in talking with other fat women, to seek out for role models in the internet and to understand we suffer from structural discrimination against our bodies and us. it‘s not us who are wrong. not our bellies, our bodies, sexuality, desires, the color of our skin, or how we decide to live. you have the right to be loved and treated well, no matter what. therefore I encourage every woman who feels bad about herself to talk, to speak up to women who know the struggle, like I did years ago. feel free to pm me 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #plussizefashion #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #ootd #queer#couple #love #honormycurves #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #skinnybitch#thunderthighs #fatpositive #psfashion #confidence #bodylove #plussize #fatshion #nonairbrushedme #confident #homosexuality #fat #sunday

calming down from 2 weeks of dancing. I am sweating a lot these days. I am afraid to live that stupid sweaty fatty cliché. for example while dancing I was very aware of the fact that I was sweating probably the most in class. this thing to compare myself to others, especially in things I don’t like about myself, is what I learned in toxic patriarchy. I always try to refocus on myself again. to remind myself that the whole idea of women sweating is something bad, is only an oppressive construct. 🌈 like I had a shooting the other day and one of the white cis hetero men there asked the female producer if „this sweat“ is a problem. first of all we shooted me dancing, second this guy talked about me like I wasn‘t even there, and he said it with disgust. it was absolutely obvious that a sweating woman was something ugly to him and also something he is not used to film or want‘s to see.🌈 therefore its even more important to talk about it and show it! 💦 🌈 🌈(ps the female producer and myself told the fragile guy that sweating while doing sports is actually pretty normal, nothing to be afraid of) 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #plussizefashion #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #ootd #queer#fatwoman #girlgang #honormycurves #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #fatbitch#bodylove #fatpositive #psfashion #confidence #bodylove #leggins #sweat #mesh #confident #sportyspice #fat #sunday

not girl boss. boss. 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #plussizefashion #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #ootd #queer#asoscurve #boss #honormycurves #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #pose #thebodiesofwomen #fatpositive #psfashion #confidence #bodylove #fatkini #fatshion #nonairbrushedme #confident #bikini #fat #beach

selfie like I used to do it. 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #plussizefashion #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #ootd #queer#curvy #lezbehonest #honormycurves #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #pose #thebodiesofwomen #fatpositive #psfashion #confidence #bodylove #barret #fatshion #red #confident #selfie #fat #shop

this is me with archie burnett @demoncar0007 at @impulstanz today. had an intense voguing weekend and developed not only new moves, but also more strength and empowerment. dancing there is not always easy for me because I am the only fat person there most of the time. I can see that some people also notice that and look at me. sometimes pityfull looks, sometimes fatshaming or wondering what I am actually doing here. 🌈 especially for these moments it helps to have a teacher like @demoncar0007 . the way he teaches voguing feels very bodypositive and that’s why I managed to do some moves I thought I wouldn‘t be able to. 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #plussizefashion #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #ootd #queer#fatacceptance #archieburnett #honormycurves #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #voguing #thebodiesofwomen #fatpositive #fatdancer #confidence #bodylove #pose #dance #fatfeministhomo #confident #fatbitch #fat #strikeapose

feeling myself 🌈 🌈 🌈 #holubstagram #homo #plussizefashion #feminist #restingbitchface #bodypositivity #bodypositivemovement #ootd #queer#asoscurve #asos #honormycurves #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #pose #thebodiesofwomen #fatpositive #psfashion #confidence #bodylove #fatkini #fatshion #nonairbrushedme #confident #bikini #fat #beach

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